WARNING: Reading This May Be Beneficial to Your Self-Esteem

Why is it that at 45 I am still not comfortable with myself?  And, by "myself" I mean my appearance. I guess it is difficult to ignore a lifetime of media images depicting what society considers beautiful. The one saving grace I fall back on is the fact that I am constantly told, and believe, that I do not look my age.  But, I also live in the land of Palm Beach glamour and, I'll admit, it's not easy to compete with these individuals. Not that I'm "competing" consciously, but subconsciously, I suppose.  

Recently two women commented on my appearance leaving me completely speechless.  One mentioned how a treatment she's had done could help with the brown spots on my face. I'm sorry, did I ask you? 

Another asked what I was doing with my hair these days.  Mind you, I had woken up, shoved my hair up in a clip and went off to volunteer at the school car line where I then got rained on. Granted, I didn't look my best. When I laughed it off and explained my hair-unfriendly morning, she replied, "Oh, but I'm talking about all the gray."  

GEEZ, I'll admit I haven't colored my hair in more weeks than I should, but who says that?! 

A couple of years ago, I broke my bathroom scale - go head, laugh.  But seriously, I was standing on the bathroom counter and I hopped off and landed hard on the glass part literally cracking the scale.  I took that as a sign of two things: 

1) I am not meant to have a scale in the house and 
2) I no longer need to know my weight.  

So, ever since then, I don't weigh myself and when I go to the doctor's office I tell them I'm going to close my eyes as they weigh me and they are not to tell me what the figure is - under any circumstance! It's amazing how much power is given to a number.  In some respects, I took that power away.  Now the only sign of weight loss or, more likely, weight gain, I can go by is how my clothes fit, but even then I can always resort to the fact that the darn dryer shrunk my jeans - AGAIN! 

There's a saying that goes something like "When you no longer care what others think of you, you are truly free." I'm aiming for that freedom.  Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all achieve that state?

Now excuse me while I go color my hair!

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  1. Girl, if I'm 45 and I look that glam (in your pic you look like you're only in you early 30s!), I wouldn't be worrying about my look. AT ALL.

    You look more than fine. But, I agree. That is the same freedom I also seek. It's so easy to say, I don't care about what they say or think about me anymore but my being emotional gets in the way sometimes. Tsk, a struggle in the mindset, really.

    Good luck to us. :)

    1. Aw, you are too kind. Thanks for reading, and yes! Good luck to US!

    2. My Motto that I've alway lived by until today, LOVE WHO YOu

  2. I agree with you 100% and I'm over it to.

  3. Thanks for sharing your "I broke the scales" story. I think you've made every woman feel a little better! Lol! I'm back working out now bcos 3 people asked me when the baby's due. "I had one 9mnths ago and I'm still fat, thanks for asking!" I think we need to find a balance between healthy mind and body

    1. Absolutely we need a balance. Thanks for reading and commenting, Lavinia!


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