We've all heard the term, and probably experienced, writer's block. But another ailment facing the writers of the world is writer's UN-block, the simple fact that our minds won't shut up. There are constant dialogues going on inside our heads. Entire poems, essays, novels, and thoughts being written on some brainwave frequency. It is exhausting. For me, unfortunately, this is most prevalent at 3 o'clock in the morning when I'm trying to get much needed sleep.
Insomnia is something I suffer from on a regular basis. Usually, I will stir for some reason and then, if I'm not careful, my brain fires up - and won't stop.
All my best material has been composed in my head at three in the morning. Of course, no one will ever get to read these brilliant masterpieces of mine because by the time the sun rises and I sit down to actually write, my brain, upset I didn't take it more seriously hours earlier, boycotts any notion of regurgitating the same flow of words.
"Nope, you had your chance," it torments. "Now see what you can come up with without ME!"
I have often joked about the fact that I have written the perfect sentence, thought of that elusive word that is just right to capture a feeling, or even written entire blog posts all in my head while desperately trying to get back to sleep, only to forget it all by daybreak. I keep a notebook and pen on my nightstand so I can jot things down in the middle of the night.......but rarely do so. Instead, I rely on my ability to recall the words the next morning.
HA! Yeah, like that actually happens. I have way too much confidence in my ability to remember things. I've even come up with little memory games to help me recall these perfect thoughts in the morning. But, they hardly work either.
I end up tossing and turning in bed, fighting with my thoughts to shut the hell up. "Come back in the morning, PLEASE," I beg. But the truth is, they rarely grace me with their presence again. Usually, by the time I crawl out of bed in the morning, my brain rebels and enters shut-down mode.
So tonight I gave in.
Having already been awake for two hours, I decided to get up, turn on the computer, and type out the thoughts my brain couldn't wait to get out. However, now that I have dragged myself out of my comfortable bed to write this post, I've got nothing! Sure, NOW, my brain is asleep. Yet, when I was trying to get some shut-eye, the words wouldn't stop flowing. Perhaps my body is so pissed off that I gave into my overactive brain, that it has cut off all communication with it. If that's the case, why can't it do that between 10pm and 6am each night instead.
I am so certain of this rift between my brain and my body that I am convinced the minute I decide to turn off this monitor and try to return to dreamland, my brain will wake back up and scream, "JUST KIDDING!"
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